abby's surgery

Thursday night we let Abby stay up late. She fell asleep at 10:30 on my lap as we were sitting on the couch, and I sat with her for a long time stroking her ear and talking with Brian about surgery. I've really been struggling this past week with all of this reality. I came to terms with her hearing loss a long time ago, but it seems like I'm having to accept it all over again. This surgery cements in my mind that she is deaf and life is going to be different after this. Plus the stress of her going into major surgery, and then knowing whatever hearing she had in that ear is now going to be GONE... It's a lot for me to swallow.

My mom and all four sisters came over to watch Carter and clean our house while we were away. (We've been alternating "spring cleaning" eachothers houses this summer and it was my turn.) None of my family lives close, except for one sister in McKinney, so it was a real sacrifice for them to get up super early and drive over an hour to get here. Carter had fun playing with his cousins and the girls scrubbed my house until it was gleaming. My mom and Suzy even bought us a new vacuum (what the what?!) because ours is so crappy. How embarrasing! I have, hands down, the BESTEST family in. the. world and I am forever grateful. Thank you all SO MUCH for helping us out. I love you!

Anyway, we got to the surgery center at 9am and didn't get into pre-op until 10:30. Abby had fun in the waiting room, but as soon as they opened the door to let us into pre-op, Abby freaked out. She realized at that point that this was the "doctor visit" we had been talking about to prepare her, and she wasn't too excited about it. We got her a toy and a video and she calmed down a bit, but not enough for the nurse to get her stats. So they gave her some silly juice, but it never kicked in, so they gave her something else, lortab I think, and she finally began to loosen up a bit.

I was strong up until they came in to get her. She screamed as they picked her up and I started to cry. This surgery wasn't a "necessary" option. It was a decision we made to better her way of life, and so it is much harder to feel good about sending your child off in this situation. So many times I wanted to back out of it, but I know it will be for the best.

The surgery went well. None of the risks involved (gusher, facial nerve damage, taste bud nerve damage, etc) happened, and the device was implanted successfully.

Recovery was crazy for Abby though. Imagine being taken away from your mom and dad and then being put to sleep. When you wake up, you're in a strange place with strange people, the left side of your head is throbbing, you have a huge red bandage wrapped around your head, and there are these things on your arms that won't let you bend them. I'm sure she felt like a caged animal, and from what they told us, she kinda acted like one too. So they gave her something to calm her down and make her sleepy and they brought us in. We waited for a bit and then woke her up. She was pretty upset about things, especially the "no-nos" on her arms, and so we decided to take them off and see how she would do without them. She immediately went for her bandage, but we threatened to put the no-nos on again and she decided not to touch her head anymore.

From start to finish we were there for seven hours. We got home around 4pm and Abby slept most of the rest of the day and all through the night. She kept her head brace on until 4am and I didn't argue with her when she took it off. (Ideally we were to take it off when she woke up the next morning.)

Today she was more herself, but VERY protective of her head. "Noooooo... Don't touch!" is her mantra today and I'm sure it will be until her swelling goes down. She doesn't seem to hate us thought, so that's good. The swelling is really bad. Her ear is sticking straight out, and her already full face is about twice its size on her left side. The pain seems to be managable though, and she was mobile and played around today, so things are slowly getting back to normal. Whatever that is now.

Her cochlear implant activation is in a few weeks, and until then she will only have her right ear to hear with. But that ear still works really great with a hearing aid, and so far she's been responding really well, so I'm relieved.

Thanks to everyone who has prayed for us and helped us through this big moment in our lives. We ask for your continued prayers as we go through this CI journey with Abby.