He walked by me swiftly, dropping something on the table as he passed. The thump jolted me from my deep phone conversation and I looked down to see a white business card with a star pin attached.
It said: "I am deaf and I make a living by selling these pins for $3. Thank you for your kindness."
It was two days before Abby's CI surgery and we were at McDonalds. The kids had abandonded their chicken nuggets to go play in the tunnels, and I was catching up with a friend on the phone. I quickly ended my phone call and looked around to find the man that had left it. He was an average looking man, early 40's and reasonably dressed, but he seemed terribly shy, with slumped shoulders and downturned eyes. My heart went out to him, and as he walked by our table I stopped him.
I smiled and akwardly signed, "My kids have hearing loss" and pointed to the play area. He looked their direction and nodded. "I sign a little," I signed, and he replied with a few gestures I didn't understand. Obviously I need to work on my comprehension. He then pointed to the pin he had placed on my table and I said, "Oh! Um, let me see what I have." I looked in my wallet and only found a ten dollar bill, so I gulped and passed it along to him. "Thank you!" he signed, I nodded back, and he went on his way.
As he walked away, my thoughts immediately turned to Abby and Carter. What if they became totally deaf? What if we raised them to not understand spoken language? How would they function in the world? Would they do well in school? Would they go to college? Would they have promising careers, or would they end up selling pins for $3 at fast food restaurants? My head swimmed at the thought of it.
My worries and obsessions about Abby's surgery suddenly dissolved and I blinked away tears of gratitude for the opportunities we've had that have allowed us to give our children this quality of life. Although I respect the Deaf community and realize that you can be happy and successful as a Deaf person, I am glad we have chosen the verbal route. I am glad that my children are thriving in the hearing world. I'm so grateful for the technology and therapy that is available to us, that will allow them to be fully functioning in mainstream society. I'm grateful that we have the financial means to make it possible for our children. I'm grateful that we have family, friends, doctors, therapists, and teachers that support us along our journey.
And I'm especially grateful for moments like this, that help remind me of our innumerable blessings and give me a little perspective.
6 comments:
That was very touching. I truly think you guys did the very best thing for Abby and eventually for Carter that you can do. Their are so many things in life with or without my aids that I miss out on because of my hearing loss. The sound of rain, different birds, certains tones of peoples voices, certain notes in music, etc.. Mimicking is very natural for a hearing impaired person. I do it all of the time if I can't undestand someone and it isn't an appropriate time to ask them to speak louder. I will mimic their face and say the appropriate "Awww" or awesome or whatever.
Your kids are phenomenal and are so very lucky to have you guys as parents.
Isn't it great to feel that confirmation:) Of course you already knew you did the right thing, but sometimes we all need those extra nudges that confirms what we already knew.
What a great post. The Lord is so merciful to confirm an answer you got before through this experience. Thank heavens for modern medicine and technology. We love you guys.
I have every confidence that Abby & Carter will be fine and have a wonderful life. It would be interesting to know that guy's whole story.
I just happened on to your site from another site.
I pray for your kids to grow up happy & healthy. No matter what you decide to do.
Regarding the man, i can tell you with almost certainty that you were scammed. My parents are deaf & i personally have had that happen to me 2 times.
I know of no deaf person or have heard of any who go out and do what you describe. Only someone who is looking for money. These people know only very little sign & have learned that people will pay for seeing a H.C. person beg, out of pity.
Sorry to let you know.
Will continue to read your blog.
Bonnie J.
As someone else mentioned, often those are scams.
And there are hundreds and hundreds of successful d/Deaf adults, with implants, without implants, with hearing aids, without hearing aids... you have no need to worry. Keep signing, keep giving your kids language and the tools to succeed they'll be fine.
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