I was talking with a friend of mine and she was telling me of the woes she is having with making friends in her ward. She has been in this ward for a year, and in that time has discovered that not many people have made an effort to include her, and her efforts to make friends haven't gotten her very far. There aren't necessairly a lot of "cliques" but a lot of pairs of women that are best friends with eachother, so I guess they're really comfortable and maybe don't have any need to have more friends. And she feels like she would be "butting in" if she tried to make friends with them. She says there is very poor attendance at the ward playgroup activities, and even Enrichment nights and ward parties are really sparse. She says all together, the ward is kind of blah. She feels like she's done all she can to find friends in her ward and is pretty sad about it.
I've been in her situation before but not to that extreme, so I was at a loss as to what to tell her.
What would you do if you were in her shoes?
10 comments:
Either "butt in" anyway and see if I could make space for myself, or call people like you more often to do things. If she has children, sign up for swimming lessons and see if she can't strike up a friendship in a few weeks with another mom in the class.
I know exactly how she feels. That's the way I've felt for the past 3 years until now. All I can say that I've done fervently is pray for someone to come along to be friends with. I've had impressions of people to strike up conversations with. It has taken 3 years, but with the help of the Lord and with the callings that I've been given from the Lord, I've finally found some friends and really feel included in a ward.
same problem here. i've found friends outside of my ward. We have been in our ward for just about 3 years and neither my hubby or myself have any ward friends.
I've found that magnifying my callings is one of the best ways to meet new people. It's the Lord's way of creating friendships (through service and kind deeeds).
I guarantee that if you look, you'll find someone else at church who is in need of a friend...it may not be your first pick, but you may be answering a prayer by initiating a friendship. Also, many times people who seem snobby are just terribly shy.
But also, there's no rule that says you can only be friends with girls in your ward. I've made some really great friends this year outside of church at the Rec Center we go to, and it's provided some really great missionary opportunities as well.
Move.
Marianne, do you want to expound on that?
I would have my own playgroup. Personally invite the kids and make it a kids day. This is an opportunity to be the hostess in your own home. Having it in your home allows you to provide entertainment, interaction, and opportunity to meet them on a small scale. You pick who you want to meet and pick another you would least likely meet and see how it goes. Another is to offer babysitting and swap. Start with one and build up on that.
I think that last comment is a great idea! Being the hostess puts you in control of the situation. Very good thinking!
That was Kimball's take on it--because we still have a move ahead of us.
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