Day 1

Five things about me no one really knows.

1. I LOVE thrift store shopping. If I had the time, I would probably be a huge garage-sale freak. Heck, I've even been known to junk something from the side of the road that was in someone elses trash. Blame it on my mom.
2. I've always thought it would be cool to be a lounge singer. Give me a pianist and upright bassist and I could sing the standards all night long. I'm an old soul when it comes to music.
3. I have an overactive sense of smell. Most smells, if too strong almost always give me a headache. However, I also have this great ability of being able to turn off my nose when I need to. I can somehow plug my nasal passage and just breathe through my mouth. Makes diaper changing tolerable.
4. I have about half of Shell Silverstein "Where The Sidewalk Ends" poems memorized. If you haven't listened to the recordings of him performing his poems, you should really check it out. You (and your kids) will never be the same. :)
5. I suck at math. I waited until to my last semester of college to take Algebra, and I barely passed. In fact, I'm pretty sure the professor took pity on me and passed me. I consider myself a relatively intelligent person, but when it comes to algebra, I'm completely brainless.

30 days, 30 posts

I'm going to attempt this challenge, just because I've had so much fun reading everyone elses, but I can't guarantee I am going to be able to stay on top of it. We'll see. :)

Day 01 — 5 things about you that no one really knows
Day 02— A picture of you last year and now and how you have changed since then
Day 03 — A favorite photo
Day 04 — Something I crave
Day 05 — Top 10 pet peeves
Day 06 — Something I bought recently
Day 07 — Something I want to buy
Day 08 — A favorite song
Day 09 — A favorite movie
Day 10 — A favorite food
Day 11 — A favorite book
Day 12 — A favorite quote
Day 13 — What did you do today??
Day 14 — Your dream house...
Day 15 — Next 3 on “Bucket List”
Day 16 — A photo of my family
Day 17 — A habit you wish you didn't have
Day 18 — Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up
Day 19 — A hobby of mine
Day 20 — A favorite recipe
Day 21 — Nicknames I have, and why I have them...
Day 22 — A favorite Youtube video
Day 23 — A travel story
Day 24 — Something that makes you feel better...
Day 25 — A funny (true) story
Day 26 — A child I love
Day 27 — A place I love
Day 28 — A person I love
Day 29 — Testimony
Day 30 — Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days

dear blog,

He's sleeping, but I still don't have time to blog.



You understand, don't you?

Hey, at least I finally took off the Halloween header!

how he came to be

November 24th - My birthday. I was feeling pretty cruddy all day and thought I might have a stomach virus. Needness to say, it was not the best birthday I'd ever had.

November 25th- Thanksgiving. I'm feeling much better and get to enjoy the Thanksgiving feast and festivities. And knowing it might be my best chance, I decide to do shop black friday, starting at midnight. I stayed up until 2:30 that night.

November 26th - The stomach thing is back, and I'm beginning to think might have overdone it a little. :) Feeling especially pregnant and ready to be done with it all, I posted this message at 6:36pm on Facebook. "Dear baby, I now give you permission to come out. Any time you're ready. Like, now, maybe."

November 27th - I am feeling a little better, but still not up to par. I got up with the kids around 8am and let Brian sleep in. After he got up and got ready for the day I decided to lay down, around 10am. While laying down I felt one really strong contraction but didn't think much of it. Abby came and layed down next to me and asked me if I would get something for her she couldn't reach. So I got up and as I did, woooosh. My water broke. I walked into the bathroom and just stood there, completely gobsmacked. My water broke early with both of the other kids, but I didn't think it would happen a third time! So I got my bearings back and walked into the kitchen where Brian was eating breakfast with Carter, and I said, "you wanna have a baby today?" He looked down at my completely soaked jeans and said, "NO. WAY." And we both just stood there in shock.

When I gave the baby permission to come out the night before, I really didn't mean it. I didn't have any laundry done, my hospital bag wasn't packed, I still had five family photoshoots left to edit, we were planning on putting up Christmas decorations that day.... the list went on and on. Based on my doctor's appointment a few days before, I really thought there was no way I was having the baby early. But lo and behold, he was on his way, almost three weeks early.

So before we left for the hospital I took a shower, we did a load of laundry and packed my bag. We dropped the kids off at Brian's parents house and got to the hospital at noon.

My new OB (I switched doctors after I miscarried) was out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday, so she did not get to deliver my baby. :( But with a c-section, its pretty impersonal to begin with, so I was okay with it. They got me into the OR pretty quickly and Andrew was born at 1:28pm. He came out squawking and beet red, but the minute they put him next to me and I stroked his cheek, he calmed right down. And that's the way he's been ever since. He'll get worked up over being hungry or having a dirty diaper, but the minute I put my face next to his and stroke his cheek he's puddy in my hands. Or maybe its the other way around. :)

And that's the story of how Andrew was born.

Here's one of his three-week pictures.

Now out of the night
New as the dawn
Into the light
This child
Innocent child
Trusting and warm
This child is born

One small heart
One pair of eyes
One work of art
Here in my arms

Here he lies
Trusting and warm
Blessed this morn!
A child is born

meet andrew christopher mcmurdie

born November 27th 2010, 1:28pm
7 pounds 5 ounces
19 inches long
the rest of the story to come...

the moment

Today I went through some of my old blog entries from a few years ago. I must say it's now a little difficult to read my blog entries from before Abby's (and Carter's) official HL diagnosis, because I seemed so happy and niave. It's bitter-sweet to enjoy the pictures and memories and growth of my babies, but the "now" me is saying, oh, just wait and see. Your life is going to be turned upside down. And then I read this post and every emotion came flooding back to me. I will never forget that day.

And in a few weeks, we might possibly have to go through that again. We know the odds are pretty good that he could have Pendred Syndrome. We are going to be okay and at peace with whatever the outcome is going to be. But it doesn't matter how much we've prepared ourselves for the red "referred" slip to come back after his HL newborn screen. If it happens, those emotions are going to come flooding back again: the worry, doubt, sadness, and acceptance that our child is going to struggle with this for the rest of his life.

And in a way, I feel like some of the joy of having a baby has been stripped away from me. Everyone expects a healthy, beautiful newborn because they have no reason to think otherwise. But for us, we can't just enjoy the moment, because we know it's possible that our child won't be "normal."

This kid's going to be okay if he has hearing loss. He is being born into a family and a community that understands it and knows what to do. The resources at our disposal are phenominal and we will give him the best care possible. And we will love him no less and maybe even more because of his special needs. But as every parent that has a child with a disability knows, it still doesn't change that moment when you first know . No matter your past experience, it is still terrifying.

will you make it to your c-section date
or come early like the rest?

will you have Carter's soulful eyes
or Abby's sunshine smile?

will we know what your name is
or will we have to draw straws?

will you be good natured
or have the soul of an old grouchy man?

will you have a full head of hair
or a smattering of blonde?

will you have perfect hearing
or will genetics play its ace again?

we're anxious to meet you, little one.

update for posterity

We're all doing good around here. Abby is growing like a weed, doing excellent in school and talking up a storm. Her teachers consider her "gifted" and hope that once we get her caught up with language and communication she'll be able to not only be mainstreamed, but be in a gifted and talented program. However, she's only been implanted for a year, and although we don't want to lower our expectations, it is likely that she will not be mainstreamed in Kindergarten. She would instead continue with the regional day school program in a mainstream elementary school that pulls out for the services she will need. But first grade... she'll be mainstreamed. I have full confidence.



Abby has been having bad dreams lately and therefore is fighting me like crazy to go to bed. Putting her to bed used to be one of my most favorite times of the day, but now its my own little nightmare. I know this won't last forever, but when you're in the thick of it, its pretty frustrating.

On the flip side however, me and Abby are tight. She is such a sweet, compassionate little girl and HATES upsetting me or making anyone unhappy. She is cuddly and loving, which is totally opposite of how she was when she was a toddler. She has lots of friends and has her teachers in the palm of her hand. She has matured so much and we are able to have full conversations, which is something that I have longed for for so long.

Raising Abby and Carter has not been the easiest thing in the world. Because of their hearing loss, communication wise I felt like I had two 2-year-olds for three years. Do you know how frustrating that is? To not be able to communicate with your children they way you want to? Anyway, we are coming out of that tunnel and it's so nice!



Carter is also growing up and doing so well in school. He's talking more and more and even creating long 8 and 9 word sentences. The other day he was playing with one of the teacher's assistants in the play kitchen in his classroom and he told her "I'm going to pour it all over your pants." And he also has quite a sense of humor. That same teacher was pretending to iron with Carter and she told him to "get all the wrinkles out" so he put the iron up to her face and started ironing out her wrinkles.

He is totally potty trained now (YAY) and so we will be diaper free for less than two months before we start the diaper routine all over again.



Carter is growing out of his constant grouchiness, but he still has his moments. And he is still a pretty sensitive kid. Carter and Abby are the best of friends and the worst of enemies. They love to play together, and I hate to say it, but I think they love to fight too. It's maddening, but when you have kids that close together, I think its inevitable.

So that's Abby and Carter in a really small nutshell.

my favorite picture

challenged

I'm not good at flower arranging. So I resort to copying from magazines. I loved this flower arrangement because its not your traditional boring fall arrangement; its a little bit modern, which is what I like. You'd think it would be easy to look at a picture and copy it, but not for me. I spent an hour at Hobby Lobby staring at the flowers in bewilderment. There's so many! And they're expensive! So I finally settled on these flower, which are different than the ones in the inspiration picture, but they were cheap. I got a huge clear glass fish bowl for $7 and spray painted it white, and I spent $12 on the flowers. So its a $20 flower arrangement, which isn't super cheap, but I like it. What do you think?

very brady

I took this shot of Abby the other day, (Can you tell she loves the camera?) and I was trying a couple of editing techniques, none of which I was very excited about. But I wanted to post this one because to me it looks like I cut it out of an episode of "The Brady Bunch." Don't ya think?

tap, tap....

Is this thing on?

Sorry I'm such a bad blogger lately. Does anyone even read my blog anymore?

I'm going to try to play catch up, although not a whole lot has happened around here.

I am 29 weeks pregnant and except for the ever increasing size of my belly bump, I really don't feel like I'm this far along. It has been one strange pregnancy. The first four months seemed to go on for-e-ver, but now that the worst has passed I really can't believe I'm in my third trimeseter, and I'm really not ready for him to come just yet. I feel good, and I'm able to to do the things I need to do and even everything I want to do, which I admit, is too much. With the holidays coming and the photography busy season, I need this little one to stay inside for just a little bit longer! Trust me, I do not take this healthy pregnancy for granted in the least and I hope he and I remain healthy till our due date.

We don't have a baby name. We have a few that we like okay, but nothing that we're sold on. I think we're going to have to wait till he's born. I have a feeling I will know right away what we should name him once we meet him in person.

So anyway, I will update on the kids and such soon.

dear carter,

I know that's the way it goes.
Little mamma's boys do grow up.
They stop the random cuddles.
They resist mommy kisses.
They insist on doing things themselves.
They go off to school and lose that special time alone with mommy.
I know that's the way it goes.

I just didn't think I would have such a hard time with it.

I feel like I'm clinging onto little Carter, but you so desperately want to be big boy Carter.

But guess what, buddy?

I'm not going to stop my random cuddles.
I'll kiss you despite your resistance.
I will guide you along as you try to do things yourself.
And I will make moments where we can spend time together.
Because you will always be my little boy.

one reason why i love brian

Carter wasn't nearly as into it as he was.

it's been a while

I should probably post something.

Abby speech sample, April 2010

This is speech sample from April, 5 2010. We had been working on the "f" sound and reading "The Foot Book." Pardon the really crappy video quality. This was the last pic/video/anything that I ever took with this camera. I really thought it was going to die in the first few seconds, but I ended up getting a lot.

Make an on-line slideshow at www.OneTrueMedia.com

happy hearing birthday, abby!

Yesterday was Abby's one-year cochlear implant hearing birthday and I completely missed it! For some reason I had it in my head that it was August 26th and not the 24th. Oh well! We'll celebrate it today!

I have been so, so bad about getting speech samples this year, and now that a whole year has passed I truly regret not having anything to look back on. We have tests galore, but not much in way of video or audio. The progress that she has made in a year has been nothing short of miraculous. We have worked hard, her teachers, audiologists and therapists have worked hard, but it is Abby's determination, desire and hard work that has contributed the most to her progress. I am so proud of her!

I have full faith that she will be able to go to regular public school next year and be mainstreamed in a general kindergarten class. We have lots to work on this year, but she is getting so close, and our teachers and therapists are very optimistic.

So happy CI birthday, Abby! We love you and we're proud of you!

Guess what?

It's going to be under 100 degrees this week! Low 90's to be exact!

So in celebration, I'm offering an

UNDER 100 SALE*

45 minute photo session
20 digital negatives on CD
only $75!!!

I have only a few slots open for this special:

Wednesday, August 25th 7:00-7:45pm

Thursday, August 26th, 8:45am-9:30am

Friday, August 27th, 8:45am-9:30am


*Sale is only good for the dates and times listed above
*Sale does not apply to families of 5 or more.

dear blog,

.
.
I've been cheating on you with Facebook.

You were my first, and I'll always come back to you, but in those moments when I just want to write one little thing, Facebook is the one. I'm sorry... But only a little.

Friend me if you want to know what I'm doing on a daily basis!

Love,

Me

first day of school

Today Abby and Carter both went to school. I dropped Carter off first and only had one solitary moment when I felt like crying. But he did so well and didn't even seem to notice when I left. Then I took Abby to her class, hung out there for a few minutes and then slipped out as they were starting circle time.



...And then I spent the next two hours wasting time in Plano waiting on the go ahead to pick up a part for our broken car a/c and take it to the shop. But locating a single switch from a Kia dealer and getting a hold of our "reliable" mechanic was easier said than done. (Its a really long story.) So I made the 20 minute trek home at 10:30am in a hot car with no hopes that the car would be fixed today. And then I had to go pick up the kids in the heat of the day with no air conditioning. I was in the car for over an hour and I thought I was going to DIE. And looking back at the kids with their sweaty beet red faces made me so sad! I don't know how people did it back in the days of no a/c.

But despite the middle section of the day, it all went really well! Abby loves her new teacher and had a lot of fun, and Carter (who I've been kinda worried about) did so good and actually took a nap in school. wait.... I think I hear angels singing....

sometimes

Most days I'm okay with this whole hearing loss thing. I mean, its been a part of our lives now for three years and has become commonplace. But there are some days, sometimes just small moments, when my heart aches for Abby and Carter to hear normally. Today has been especially hard.

revealing

So Abby has had an ear infection in her HA ear for four days now and she has not worn her hearing aid since the start of the infection. I guess I never really noticed how much better she hears when she has both her hearing aid and her CI in, because she wears them both religiously and we haven't worked her CI independently in a really long time. But now it is painfully obvious, and its a little discouraging. I have to repeat things two or three times for her to understand me, she almost always wants to look at me when I talk so she can read my lips (which I don't want her to become dependent on) and in loud situations where she normally copes really well, she can't even make out me yelling at her.

We celebrate her one year CI hearing birthday later this month, and I can't believe how quickly it has passed, and how extremely well she has done with her implant. But the past few days has really made me realize that we're not out of the woods yet. She has so much more to learn, and there will come a day when she will lose the hearing completely in her right ear and she will no longer have that hearing to rely on. All of that makes me sad and I don't want to think about it. But with this new revelation, I am determined to help her feel confident when hearing in any and every situation. With her hearing aid or not, with one good ear or two, we will help her to be as happy and successful as possible.

But I really can't wait till that ear infection goes away!

New

I added a new picture to Abby's picture page for anyone bored enough to look. :) Click on the "Abby's Art" button in the right column.

nostalgic

I'm feeling a little nostalgic today, thinking about how much my little boy has grown up. Maybe its that his hair is long enough where it doesn't lay down flat anymore, or maybe its his exploding vocabulary and interest in everyone around him. He isn't afraid to walk up to a stranger and ask them what their name is, much to my proud dismay. (is it possible to be dismayed and proud at the same time??)

Anyway, I had to look back at some pictures and see how much he's changed, and oh my gosh. Baldy chubs is totally gone. He's now a lean, tan little surfer boy with white hair and a mean set of abs. I miss old Carter, but love the boy he's becoming.

wordless wednesday

two pictures from galveston

that's all for now

family portrait

I don't even remember the last time we've had a family picture taken. So while we were in Galveston Matt took a few shots of us. This was our best one. I think we need more practice at this family portrait thing.



Anyway, we had an absolutely fabulous, relaxing time in Galveston and I wish we could go back once a month or something. I have pictures, just no time to post them. :)

well half of you were right...

It's a BOY!

Now we just have to think of a name.

blessed

Abby (as usual) asked to say prayer at dinner tonight, but this time her prayer was especially detailed and specific and I giggled as she spoke. As we said "Amen" I kept my eyes closed a little longer and drunk in the miracle of the prayer she had given. And then I looked up at Brian and said, "She is DEAF, and she was able to give a prayer like that." Brian gave me a knowing nod and said "I know, its incredible."

It truely is a miracle and I am so, so, so, SO grateful for the blessing of her hearing through her hearing aid and cochlear implant.

I will never take her hearing for granted, and I will be forever grateful for it.