So today I took Abby to school and it was raining and we were a little late. They had cut off the drop off line so I couldn't drop her off, but the bell hadn't rung yet so I knew if I hurried I could park the car and get her in the school before she was tardy. So I got Abby out of the car and left Carter in the car because I knew he would make us late if I got him out too. Besides, it was raining. And it wasn't like it was 100 degrees and we were in a bad area and Carter would be in danger or anything. I locked the car and we ran inside and got our pass to enter the school from the ladies at the front desk. While in the office I hurriedly mentioned to the ladies that I had left Carter in the car and they gave us our pass and I ran Abby to class and dropped her off. It took me all of two minutes to get back to the car and as I was walking out of the school one of the ladies was standing outside watching my car and said to me as I passed, "Ms. McMurdie, NEVER leave your child in the car." I said I know and ran to the car. Of course Carter was fine, but I felt so humiliated after that! I didn't think I had made a bad decision, but now I feel like a bad mom because someone else repremanded me. I don't want to be known as one of "those moms" who the people at the school talk about and think I am a bad mom.
I am enabling comments because I really want to know what you think. Did I make a bad choice? I won't be offended if you say yes, but I would like to know everyone's opinions, positive or negative!
15 comments:
This is such a hard question to answer... mostly because of the stigma that society (AKA the media) as placed on certain things. It is like the swine flu to me... Yes- people have died from it. But, it is not quite the pandemic that the media made it out to be. Yes... kids have been snatched from cars. But, in most of those cases, the parents left the keys in the car and the car running while they run into a store, the house, etc. Do I think it is a good thing to make a regular habit of? No... because then you become careless. But, I will admit that CJ and I have both left our kids in locked, cool cars when we were running in somewhere for a minute or two and did not want to have to wake them up from a nap. Do I feel worried when I do it? Yes. And perhaps it is good to feel a level of being uncomfortable about it... but I would not feel bad because that lady said something to you... she just has decided to take things for the ultimate extreme.
I think I just rambled there a lot and I am not sure that I really answered your question. Maybe someone else can do a better job.
I can appreciate the lady's concern. What if you couldn't come right back? What if something happened to you? What if ...? However, I don't believe there's a hard and fast rule without any exceptions. Your situation seems comparable to walking outside the house to get the mail while your kids are inside playing. Should you never leave your child alone? Certainly a parent should be allowed to apply common sense to each situation.
Well I would have told the lady to mind her own business and but out. Part of being a parent is making decisions that you feel is best. I haven't been brave enough to leave Levi in the car by himself yet but there have been many times when it would be so much easier. Don't sweat it! You know you are a great mom and you were doing what was best in the situation.
I dont think that makes you a bad mom. I dont even leave my kids alone in the car while we are still in the garage if I have to run back into the house to get something (I will if the garage door is closed though) what I am afraid of is someone snatching my child...I am extremely paranoid though and know someone whos child was snatched from them when they were left alone for not even a minute. it's scary...and especially when you have such cute children...you know someone is going to want them. I wouldnt worry about what other parents think about you, you know if your a good mom...and no mom is perfect....not even them.
There are times I leave my kids in the car but only if I can see the car. I get way to paraniod if I can't see the car. The door was locked and the weather wasn't hot, stand your ground you did nothing wrong!
I think the only mistake that you made was mentioning that you left Carter in the car. The lady that was watching your car was just worried, but it is a safe area, and nothing bad was going to happen. She should have minded her own business and kept her thoughts to herself. You were in a hurry and did what tons of other moms wish they had the guts to do. I leave my kids in the car, only when I can see the car, I know I will only be a minute, and only on cool, not cold, hot, or warm, days.
All of you have very good points. You can be sure I will never leave my kids in the car again-no matter the situation. Its not worth the "what ifs..." and the possibility of being judged or even getting in trouble.
I told a friend of mine about it today and she said that her neighbor did the same thing and one of the teachers called CPS on her and they came to her house and drilled her. I definitely don't want that.
...And while my actions can be explained, the consequences could never be undone if the unthinkable occured.
You have some good points there, but I stand with Brian on this one. Each mother should have the right to make the decision for herself, her children, and each different situation. I do it, but I'm not proud of it and I'm probably way too lax about it. The simple fact is that nothing happened this time. Teachers and school employees will always talk even if you are the perfect mom. They get bored at lunch. :) Don't think too hard about it or you will freak yourself out. Try to put it behind you and take each situation as it comes.
You are definitely NOT a bad mom! If your are troubled by the decision you made, it was a learning experience. I think as parents we are looked at as "Perfect" in every aspect. We aren't suppose to make mistakes, right?! Wrong! We are human too, and we all have the right to keep learning until we leave this Earth, whether we are a child or an adult. It makes us all the wiser as we get older. I just have to kind of laugh to myself though, because "back in the days," kids were left everywhere. It's amazing how time changes everything.
I am with Danielle--my thoughts exactly. I could never ever in a million years forgive myself IF something happened b/c of me. I just don't do it--ever--never have in my almost 6 years of being a Mom. I am in NO WAY saying you are a bad Mom. And I am not saying I am a great Mom. Just my opinion.
I am their Mom. My #1 job it to protect them and keep them safe. You said be honest.
I better say I have left them in the car once or twice when I have taken a meal to someone..... But I run it up to the door with them in clear sight and don't take my eyes off the car....and even then I am nervous?! I am psycho--I know!
I haven't left the girls in the car while I go in anywhere public, but if we are making a pit stop at home between errands, I do that all the time.
I've not only occasionally left a kid in the car, I also locked them in the car. Twice. Thank goodness we had AAA at the time. You're not a bad mom, so be forgiving of yourself. What would you think if you saw another kid in the car alone? But next time I guess Abby will have to be late and Carter will get wet.
Agreeance comes from this corner to everything that's been said. Sometimes we just don't know the circumstances and we just go straight to assuming. And besides, think about this: you locked the doors. If someone had really wanted to take Carter, there would have been more reason behind it than "ooo Free Child!" in order to go through the effort of breaking the window/breaking the locks or whatever. That's when I would be concerned. But I think what you did was fine. We are just in a paranoid world. No worries to you Mandie!
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