I've learned something throughout this whole class preparation. I thought it would be nice to go back to what I used to do for a living and start a little side business of my own. I even thought long term and considered holding several classes a week and renting out a space if we got a lot of business... But after the first class, I actually felt kind of sad. Abby was in the room with me playing and watching everyone, but I was too busy teaching and basically ignored her the whole time. I remember thinking in the middle of the class that I would rather be there playing with her than teaching. If I were to teach multiple classes a week, that would mean less time with her, and I don't like that idea.
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There are a lot of things on my plate lately. Evening Song rehearsals are starting, so she will be with a babysitter every Thursday night. I will be teaching two classes for the city of Murphy every Tuesday, so she will be with a sitter then too. And then our Wylie Wigglers class will take me away from her also. PLUS all the hours of planning involved. I thought I would welcome these new opportunities, but it makes me a little sad. I mean, how can I resist someone so sweet and adorable?Am I too attached to my daughter?
7 comments:
No, you're not too attached, but it's great that you have found time to be Mandie, and not just Abby's mom. If you just stayed at home all the time with Abs, then you might lose a little bit of who you are, and become just Abby's mommy. You will, and are, appreciating Abby a lot more now that you are doing things for you aren't you?
Well, I don't think there is anything wrong with being too attached to your child. I am way too attached to Evan and he just knows his mommy loves him! I have seen parents not care at all if they had to be away from their child and it makes me sick so it's a good thing you hate so much to be away from her. I still can't be away from Evan yet. Although, I know it would be a good idea for him to be with other people because right now he has total stranger anxiety and only wants to be with his mommy. yikes!
I think Melinda is right. You don't want to lose who you are and forever be "Abby's Mom." She's going to grow up so fast and be in school and then what will you do with your time? (well, have more babies, I suppose!) Now you have a little bit of the feeling I have about leaving Ben at a babysitter all day. It's horrible, but we all make sacrifices. Abby's just lucky she has a mom who loves her so much!
No, not too attached. It's good you feel that way. It's also good to do other things too. But you'll know what is a good balance. If something starts to take away from her, then you'll know it and you can lighten your load. You'll be fine!
I can relate! Being a former teacher too , I felt I didn't want to give up that whole part of me at first. But then I was offered a VERy small tutoring job at the school where I used to work and I said yes at first. But Then I had major anxiey about leaving him to work for money that we didn't NEED. So I changed my mind, and have never looked back! As he has gotten older my days have gotten way busier, and I honestly couldn't see fitting anything else in! But I think it is great you are still doing something you enjoy!
I totally agree with Amanda
I went through the same dilemma as I had Aubrey and wanted to teach private lessons at home. At first, I thought that putting aside that part of my life was crazy, because it was so much a part of me. But then as I settled more and more into motherhood, I realized that I am finding more and more talents and gifts that I have never had. I am also find more fulfillment and joy than I ever found in any classroom. The sacrifices I make for my children, spouse and family have allowed the Lord to bless me exponentially with other talents, skills and gifts that I otherwise would not have if I just forced myself to continue in the areas that I was familiar with. Some people may consider giving your life to your children and spouse as giving up yourself, but I disagree. I truly believe then Lord when he said, "He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it." (Matt 10:39) Isn't our ultimate purpose as parents to bring our children back to our Heavenly Father's presence---which is also the Savior's purpose! So, how can we be wrong when we put aside things that are important to us to better serve what is important to HIM. I don't think it's possible to 'lose our identity' as we dedicate our lives to our children. The world teaches us that we will, but the Lord directly promises otherwise.
I do think that we as women need time-outs for ourselves, because mothering can be very overwhelming at times. But I think that the feelings that you had in regards to your motherhood are the Spirit's way of molding your heart and desires to come parallel with the Lord's.
Abby looks wonderful and is very lucky to have great parents like you guys!
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